Review: Billions and Billions (Carl Sagan)

Sagan touches on a number of topics in his essays, all of which are still incredibly relevant today. He speaks on climate change, abortion, morality, the possibilities of extraterrestrial life, population growth, and basic math. Sagan looks forward to the turn of the millennium, writing from a couple of years before I was born, full of hope even amidst his health struggles. And here I am, looking back at him 23 years into the 21st century, seeing how society has fallen short of Sagan’s dream.  

I struggle with optimism. Climate change has progressed, no action has been taken. Russia’s invasion of Ukraine has changed the global landscape in a way that terrifies me to my core. Sagan’s progressive take on abortion breaks my heart in light of the recent overturn of Roe v. Wade, as women’s rights to their bodies are being undercut across the United States. 

Carl Sagan has always been a beacon of hope for me and for the world. But reading Billions and Billions in 2023 only reminds me how, in many ways, the world feels worse off now than when this book was published. I don’t know if that perception is accurate, as it is so easy with hindsight to forget about all time times the world was supposed to end but never got around to it. We keep lolloping forward as a planet, seemingly balancing on a knife’s edge above oblivion. It’s fucking stressful. 

I came to the conclusion at about age 12 that the purpose of life, given that the universe has no inherent meaning and God is dead, is simply to try and fit as much of the world as possible into my head before I die. I want to see everything, read every book, and understand every perspective. If I spend my whole life only thinking about things that make me comfortable or hopeful, I’m missing out on 90% of the world. I suppose that is why I still read, even when it makes me cry. 

I am predisposed toward despair. I need CONSTANT VIGILANCE or ill just fall over into a little puddle and melt into the pavement, never to be seen again. I must always remember to yank my brain back from the abyss to stare at a flower for a few minutes, watch a video about a rescue dog, or seek out the amazing people around me that make life worth living. It takes conscious effort (at least for me) to see beyond the black and white and appreciate how beautiful a grey area can be.  Billions and Billions forced me to find that grey area, and for that, I am grateful.